First and foremost, the thing you need to understand about people who self-harm is that THEY ARE NOT DOING THIS FOR ATTENTION. Most of the time, people get confused. They often think that a person who cuts himself or herself are just attention seekers. No. There's so much more than that. They suffer from so many things. And that's one reason why they do that. It's because sometimes they may feel like they can't tell these problems to other people because they fear that they are being a burden and are only adding up to other people's problems. And no, you can't really blame them. It's not really easy for them. Sometimes, they have so many problems that they blow up in a quick second when they feel like everything is going downhill or they have so much in their minds that just one off thing you say can feel as if you are attacking them and they get hurt and may even self-harm, again. They also often feel like nobody really cares and nobody is willing to listen because sometimes they think, "If I can't even understand myself, how can someone else do?" And so here is my advice to the people who know someone who are self-harming or have self-harmed. Listen to them. Try not to go against them when they are opening up to you because they may feel like you're only there not to understand but to just contradict everything they say to prove them that they have mental issues and that they are not well. Give them time. Give them love. Don't get mad and shout at them if they have sudden outbursts or if they hurt themselves purposely, they need you to listen and please listen well, understand them and then give them advice as calmly as you can because they don't need any more people putting weight on their problems more. It's not that you have to say that what their doing is okay and that you approve of it. It's just that you have to be careful with what you say and let them heal at a pace they feel most comfortable because you can't force a broken vase to fix itself and make everything okay again. You have to take time piece by piece and glue it all back together. Just like a wound. You can't tell it to heal and it will be healed in an instant. No, it takes a lot more time than that. But after that time, it's as good as new. Granted there may be scars to remind you and the person of the past and the pain, but it more of signifies that they have come a long way and that they have been so strong. And lastly, my message to those people who have suffered from depression, anxiety, and self-harm. Don't be ashamed of the scars in your body. You are beautiful. There may be roads along the way that are bumpier and rockier than others, but you'll still survive. You've survived so much more than what you think. Don't force yourself to heal. Take your time and breathe. You'll be fine. You are fine. Someone is there to listen. Find that person, and that person will help you get through every obstacle you may encounter in the near future.
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